A few weeks ago, I was out to lunch with some friends and I had my very first encounter with another person wearing an insulin pump. When my food came I immediately started calculating on my pump. The woman sitting next to us asked me if I was diabetic. I said I was, and she excitedly told me that her young son (maybe 8 years old) sitting at their table was also a pump-wearing diabetic and would love to see mine. I jumped out of my seat so we could trade pumps--with tubing stretched across the table. He was so cute! It was the weirdest thing to see someone else in my situation. I don't come across very many diabetics, so when I do, it's always a good experience.

I'm Back

Since I have neglected my blog for the past four months or so, I felt today was as good as any to jump back in. I hope to post more steadily this year—otherwise, what’s the point, right?!

The biggest update I can give in the past four months would have to be the fact that I bought a new townhouse, which I’m in love with and can’t wait to move into! It should be ready hopefully by March, as long as the snow this winter does not delay the construction too much. Fingers crossed!

The other thing is that I finally started on the continuous glucose meter. I have to say, I find it very annoying. I thought I was going to love it, but it’s not worth it to me to use. I know the point is to monitor blood sugar trends. I feel like that would be helpful if it was ever accurate! It is constantly alarming that I’m low, when I never am. There was one night it was alarming every 10 minutes in the middle of the night, when I was actually fine the entire time. After a while I would stop believing it and never check my blood sugar.

And I was calibrating it when I supposed to.

That’s the other thing.

Calibrating is incredibly annoying to me. I feel like my eating schedule is based on when I calibrate since it can’t be done too close after eating. It also can’t be done when your sugar is too high. I felt like there was never a good time to do it.

I don’t know---I’m sure there’s a good chance I’m doing something wrong, but I gave up and stopped wearing it. I’m sure I’ll give it another go one of these days, but for now, I’m just too frustrated.

Long Time No Post!

Wow, it's been almost a month since I've posted--I believe it's time to jump back in! Since my brain is tired, I'm just going to fill out this list I stole from Six Until Me:

What type of diabetes do you have: Type 1

When were you diagnosed: Sometime in October 2005

What's your current blood sugar: 156--hopefully that goes down a little more

What kind of meter do you use: Freestyle flash. Although, those one touch ultra minis look pretty cool. I kind of want the pink one.

How many times a day do you test your blood sugar: Lately I've been pretty lazy, but anywhere between 4 and 10--depending on the day and how I'm feeling

What's a "high" number for you: Depends on the time of day...anything over 140 (which is often), I get a little annoyed. I'm obviously too hard on myself

What's do you consider "low": Anything under 80

What's your favorite low blood sugar reaction treater: starburst! That's what I carry in my purse instead of juice boxes now. Much more fun.

Describe your dream endo: Helpful, extremely knowledgeable and can answer any and all questions, supportive, understands exactly what I need and what I'm going through, has great bedside manner---I know that's asking a bit much, but it did say my "dream" endo. Side note: I love my current endo, but I live too far away now. I'm starting with a new one in three weeks. Fingers crossed that he's some of things on this list!

What's your biggest diabetes achievement: Starting on the pump!

What's your biggest diabetes-related fear: My greatest fear is that I will eventually experience all the complications I read about every day. Very scary.

Who's on your support team: My husband, family, friends, etc. I consider everyone I interact with part of my support team

Do you think there will be a cure in your lifetime: Hmmm I don't want to risk sounding like a Debbi Downer, but honestly, I don't think so. Scientists are making great advancements, and I'm grateful for everything they do, but I'll believe it when I see it.

What is a "cure" to you: A cure would be living my life how I was between the years of 1983 to 2004 when I didn't have diabetes and it wasn't even something I thought about (except for that day when I was 13 and my friend told me I probably had diabetes because I was so thirsty. Interesting how eight years later I became diabetic--talk about jinxing someone haha)

The most annoying thing people say to you about your diabetes is: "how is your diabetes doing?" Never really know what to say---I always just say "it's doing well" whatever that means haha.

What is the most common misconception about diabetes: that type 1 and 2 are the same. Diet and exercise will not cure me.

If you could say one thing to your pancreas, what would it be: Why would you be working fine and then all of a sudden stop? Was it something I said?

Leg Cuff!

I just purchased my custom made insulin pump leg cuff from T&J Design

I haven't officially worn it yet, but after wearing it for a little while around my apartment, I'm very happy with it! It's so comfortable and doesn't slip at all. I'm planning on wearing it with a bridesmaid dress, so that will be the real test. I'm sure it will be fine though. I definitely recommend this company--they are very friendly and have great products! I found them through Karen's Bitter-Sweet Diabetes Blog---so thanks Karen!

This past Sunday my husband and I went over to his parents' house for dinner and my niece (also Megan) is up visiting for the week. It's always great to see her! She's the cutest and smartest 5 year old I know. I love that she'll always run up and jump into my arms, it's so cute. It didn't exactly happen that way on Sunday, though. I walked in expecting her to be excited to see me, but she literally ignored me. Even when I walked up to her to give her a hug, she pretty much ran to Brian instead. Talk about getting your feelings hurt. It was finally explained to me that she was scared of my pump! My sister-in-law must have explained to her that I don't give myself shots anymore and now use the pump. I would be scared too if I was a 5 year-old trying to picture this thing with a tube going into my stomach. She was afraid it was hurting me. I couldn't blame her for being a little freaked out. As the night went on, she started to warm up to me again (she made sure to sit next to me at the dinner table---I felt better after that haha). Just before we were about to leave, she finally had the courage to at least look at it. I'm sure she'll become completely used to it, but I understand how she felt! I felt the same way the first time I tried to understand what this thing was!

P.S- That house I mentioned in my last post was horrible. It's not even worth talking about. It was in good shape, but every single room needed to be completely updated. It was like walking into the year, 1950. That's just too much for us to handle right now. The perfect (and affordable) house is still out there!

I just read a great guest post on DiabetesMine about the Continuous Glucose Monitor. Mine is still in the box, but hopefully I’ll be using it soon!

On a non-diabetes note, it looks like I’m back on the home buyer wagon. I fell off of it about a month or so ago when my husband and I were in the attorney review process for a townhouse we had just put an offer on. Long story short, the deal fell through, which actually ended up being a good thing for us. After that situation, we decided to take a break from all the hassles of house hunting. As of yesterday, it looks like we’re back to looking! A house just came on the market for a great price and in a good location. It needs updating inside, but judging from the pictures, nothing that has to get done right away. Who knows what could happen after seeing it person though. I try not to get excited too soon anymore—I learned that anything could happen. I’m not going to talk anymore about it because I don’t want to jinx it, but we’ll see!

I have to be a nerd for a few minutes and post about the awesome time I had at a Hanson concert two days ago with my good friend, Jackie. I realize how silly that sounds, but they are still my favorite band and I have the best time at their shows! I’m not nearly as “obsessed” as I used to be in high school. There was a time when I would happily stand outside a venue for 12 hours waiting to get into a concert in order to be as close to the stage as possible. Nowadays, the thought of waiting on a line more than an hour completely turns me off. So instead, Jackie and I managed to cut almost the entire line at the last minute and somehow bypassed everybody. Not sure how we managed to do that without getting into fights—but we did! The show itself was obviously amazing! For whatever reason, I was nervous security was going to ask me about my pump at the door. I was afraid they were going to wonder what exactly I was trying to bring inside. Nobody cared. In fact, they didn’t care about anything. You could have brought in a video camera and it really didn’t matter!

Our little adventure before the show was so much fun. For a few years now, Hanson has been doing this charity to help fight AIDS and poverty in Africa. A few hours before each concert, they go on a one mile walk with their fans barefoot to honor those who are less fortunate in Africa. For every person that “takes the walk” with them, they donate a dollar to health care, clean water, etc. So that’s all very sweet and I love a good cause—but let’s be honest—it really didn’t matter to me why were walking, the fact that I could stand next to them for half an hour was reason enough haha. I was not barefoot. If I’m technically not supposed to be barefoot on the beach (even though I break that rule every time), I’m surely not going to walk around a dirty concert venue with rocks and nails on the ground, barefoot! Even with shoes on, the walk was awesome! I ended up getting a picture with Isaac, the oldest brother. =)

All and all, the day was great and luckily, I didn’t have to worry about any highs or lows during any of it. My blood sugar stayed level and I was able to focus on more important things!

Apparently, sniffing insulin can help memory loss in Alzheimer's patients. I find this very interesting! Here is a link to the article:


http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE66F01X20100716?feedType=RSS&feedName=healthNews&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+reuters%2FhealthNews+%28News+%2F+US+%2F+Health+News%29

As an official user of the pump, I have to say that I really love it. I don’t know why I was so over it a few years ago. I kind of wish I gave it more of a chance. Better late than never I guess. It really is awesome to be able to sit in a restaurant and not have to whip out needles in front of everyone. It’s great to be able to press a few buttons and start eating. I can’t wait to learn how to use the continuous glucose monitor---then I’ll really be set.

My sugar levels were great the first two days, but the last 2 days it’s been on I feel like I can’t calculate my carbs right. I keep underestimating the amount I actually need and I always end up too high. It’s making me a little frustrated actually. Hopefully that changes soon. I feel like a failure when my levels are high. The funny thing is, it doesn’t bother me when they’re too low. It just sucks, but I don’t feel bad about myself. It’s when they hit the 200s I feel like I just failed a big final. I’m sure my doctor may just have to make some adjustments with my basal rate or something. That, or I really just can’t calculate my food anymore. Either way.

Also---I was nervous to go kickboxing--I was scared my sweat would make the adhesive fall off and the stupid thing would fall out of me in the middle of doing push ups haha. Turns out it stays put no matter how long you are sweating or in water. Yay!

I can't believe Fourth of July Weekend is already over. This summer is flying by way too quickly. We went to a friends house on the 4th and watched illegal fireworks in his backyard. They were amazing. I thought they were going to be those lame small ones, but they were huge and completely lit the sky. I was positive the police were going to show up haha. Thankfully they didn't. I had to check my blood sugar at one point and another friend noticed. He let me know that a bunch of his relatives also have diabetes and his uncle lost his legs. I love when people tell me things like that. How am I supposed to respond? "yes, thank you, I love to hear about all the people in your life that have lost limbs and who have died...from the same disease I have!" I know I take care of myself and keep everything under control. It's still scary to hear horror stories like that. I know he meant no harm, and it doesn't anger me at all. I just think it's funny.

I have an appointment tomorrow morning to meet with my doctor so we can put insulin in my pump now instead of saline. Tomorrow I'll be an official user of the pump! Sweet.

Bikini or Tankini?

First of all--the new blog templates are really cool. I love this new design--it's so fun!

So I haven't given up on the pump yet. Even though it's still saline, I'm still wearing it and acting like it's insulin. Hopefully next week I'll be able to officially use it with insulin. I've adjusted to it pretty well. I'm still getting used to sleeping with it though. I'm not quite sure what to do with it. The other morning I woke up tangled up in the tubing. It's weird because I feel like I can't keep it clipped on my side because I'm going to crush it. I usually just place it next to me and hope it's in the same spot when I wake up. I guess I still have to get used to it. Either way, I'm really glad I decided to do this. I'm interested to see what my A1C will be like once I've been using the pump for a while. We'll see!

Next weekend I may be going to the beach with some friends. I'm contemplating whether I should continue to wear my bikini as usual while wearing the pump, or if I should get a tankini to try to cover it up a little bit. I don't necessarliy want to freak people out with this, but I also don't want to be forced to cover up if I don't want to. Decisions, decisions...

On a lighter note, I'm very excited because my husband finally let me open our gifts from our wedding (new towels, pots, pans, etc.) It's only been around nine months! We were planning on not opening anything until we moved into a house, but since that's been falling through we decided to just re-organize the apartment so we can use our new things. Thank God because now I actually want to cook--now that I have some sweet pots and pans to use haha.

Back on the Pump--Day 1

I’m back on the pump and it’s not as bad as I remembered it to be! This is my first full day on it, and I have to say, it’s not bothering me at all. I was down at the beach for a few days this week and on our way back home, my husband and I stopped at my doctor’s office to get my pump training started. The whole time I was on vacation I was thinking about my appointment and how much easier life is going to be with my new pump. It’s weird how different I felt about it four years ago. I was disgusted with the sight of it and it actually depressed me. Now I’m completely ok with it. I am a little nervous about taking it out for the first time. I hope history doesn’t repeat itself and I don’t end up with a giant bruise. I’m also a little nervous about inserting a new one—that should be interesting. Right now I’m practicing with saline, but hopefully next week I’ll be ready for insulin. I wish I would have started the pump before going down to the beach. It would have made it so much easier. It’s such a pain to bring the insulin pens in hot weather—I always have to remember the ice pack in my bag and it just takes up extra space, it drives me crazy! I’m looking forward to not having to worry about that!

Back on the Pump!

I never thought I would say this, but I'm actually going to try going on the pump again. I tried it for a day about four years ago and I hated it. I had an appointment with my endo the other day and I was finally talked into giving it another try. This time I'm not as against it. I think I'm ready to give up the daily shots and finger pricks (I'm going to try the continuous glucose monitor as well). It sounds like a lot of things stuck to my body 24/7, but I'm hoping I'll get used to it this time. I was told that if I want to try to get pregnant in another year or two, I should really go on the pump. So I shall!

I'm not going to lie, I'm really nervous about it. I've been trying to figure out how I can make it work in my daily life. For instance, I started cardio kickboxing a few weeks ago (which I would recommend to anyone---it's a tough workout, but awesome). Is the pump going to get in the way of doing crunches? Is it going to fall out from all the sweat? It would have been helpful this morning though. Before class started, my sugar was down to 31! I was having a weird morning with my levels, but was hoping it would be normal by the time I got there. Of course it wasn't and I had already gone through three juice boxes by that point. Luckily this sweet girl in class offered me some cookies she had in her car, which did the trick. If I had the continuous glucose monitor I would have known my sugar levels before hand and could have corrected it early on. I'm looking forward to having that.

The other thing I'm worried about is where am I going to put the pump when I'm wearing a dress? I'm in a friend's wedding in October and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the pump while wearing the bridesmaid dress. I guess I'll worry about that when the time comes. For now, I'm just looking forward to getting this thing started...again. This time I'll give it more than a day to get used to it.

Life After a Cure--Diabetes Blog Week Day 7

Life after a cure would be pretty amazing. Here some of the things (in no particular order)that immediately come to mind that I would no longer have to worry about. I used to take these things for granted before I was diabetic!

Having to carry a big purse. Sometimes I want to carry a small purse, but can't because then where would I put my insulin pens, glucose meter, juice box, granola bar, ice pack to keep insulin cool in the summer, etc.

Accidentally staining my shirt with blood. Sometimes after pricking my finger, I don't realize it's still bleeding and I'll get it on my clothes! Or I'll give myself a shot in my tummy and not realize I bled a little---on my shirt!I hate that...

Having to always see the doctor. I feel like I always have an appointment. It would be nice to not have to worry about my health all the time.

Diabetes is expensive! It's like having an extra bill every month. I feel like I'm paying to have a chronic disease. It would be great to not have to budget for it anymore.

All the health risks that I would no longer have to worry about is by far the thing that I would be most happy about. I hate that I'm considered "high risk" when it comes to everything. I would love to be considered
"normal risk" again.

And lastly, I would never have to worry about what I would do if I were ever on a plane that crashed onto an island. I would be the first to go because my insulin supply would run out in a matter of days. If there were a cure, it would be one less thing to worry about. I really have thought about this.

To Carb or Not to Carb--Diabetes Blog Week Day 4

When I was first diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago, I was really confused about what I was supposed to eat and not eat. During my hospital stay, I was taught about all the restrictions I would have to put on my diet. A nutritionist visited me and completely overwhelmed me with all these new rules. I was given a chart that showed examples of types of meals I should be eating for breakfast, lunch, dinner and for snacks. I was not even allowed to go over a certain amount of calories per week. I was about 88 pounds at this point and the thought of being on a diet confused me to no end. Did the hospital not see me? I was wilting away to nothing! I was completely miserable after leaving the hospital because I was always hungry and was not gaining any of my weight back. During my first visit to my endocrinologist at the time, I was asked why I still weighed around 90 pounds. I told him that I was put on a strict diet that entailed measuring out all my food. He explained that I really could be eating anything I wanted just as long as I gave myself enough insulin to cover the amount of carbs I was eating. I was so excited to eat a cheeseburger right after that appointment! I still don’t know why the hospital made me watch my calorie intake!

Nowadays, I really do eat whatever I want, just as long as I measure out the right amount of insulin for what my meal is. I do, however, still eat as healthy as I can, with some fried foods thrown in there too. If there is a sugar free or “light” option for something, I’ll usually go with that (unless it’s chocolate. I can’t eat sugar free chocolate, it’s just not the same). While lows are never fun, sometimes I don’t mind them because it gives me an excuse to eat some sweets! I would consider my eating habits pretty normal and nothing really out of the ordinary!

Your Biggest Supporter--Diabetes Blog Week Day 3

I’m a little late jumping in, but I just discovered Karen’s Bitter-Sweet diabetes blog http://bittersweet-karen.blogspot.com/ and her post about Diabetes Blog Week. In an effort to post on a more consistent basis, I thought it would be fun to participate!

Figuring out my biggest supporter is tough because all my friends and family care about me and my health. I’m always asked how I’m feeling and if I’m ok. They let me give insulin injections right in front of them without looking grossed out and I love that they ask questions to try to understand more about what I’m going through.

Although, I have to say, my biggest supporter would have to be my husband. He’s there with me every day so he gets to be involved in it all. I was diagnosed about five years ago when I turned 21. It wasn't the most fun experience, but as my boyfriend at the time, he was there for me 100%. Every day after class at college, he would visit me at the hospital, which was about two hours away (I was there for a few days) and he showed no sign of wanting to bail out of the situation. It was comforting to know I could count on him. Since then, he’s had to deal with me and my fluctuating blood sugars on a constant basis. For the most part I’m pretty normal, but I do have my off days. When I am really stressed about it, I’m sure it effects him too.

Yay for all the awesome supporters in my life!

Continuous Glucose Monitor

A few days ago I received a call from someone at Medtronic to see how I'm doing with my insulin pump. Unfortunately, I had to tell her that I haven't used the pump in about 4 years. I basically tried it for one day and hated it. I know I should have given it more of a chance, but I just couldn't handle my life with it on. I think I was bitter because the nurse who was showing me how to use it was trying to make it more appealing by comparing it to a beeper. Now why would I want people to think I'm wearing a beeper? Am I that lame? The best part was that it was never actually explained to me how to properly remove the stupid thing. I pretty much just ripped it off myself, which was the worst idea ever. It left this huge hole where the tube was inserted and the blood immediately started flowing. I looked like I was shot! I ruined a nice pair of jeans because of that. Maybe one day I'll want to try it again--I do see the benefits of having a pump (once I learn how to remove it the right way).

So the Medtronic rep. on the phone proceeded to tell me about this other device that she thought I might like. It's a continuous glucose monitoring system that attaches to your body and continuously checks your blood sugar throughout the day. This doesn't scare me as much because it's about the size of a quarter and there are no tubes attached to it. I like that it alerts you when you are too high or too low. I love that the data can upload to a computer and you can view the results in a graph. I think it would be interesting to see what my blood sugar patterns are throughout the day. I'm considering trying it, but want to talk to my doctor first to see what she thinks. We will see!

Clumsy Lows

I’m always walking into things, tripping over myself, etc. When my sugar is low, I’m 10 times clumsier. Last night for instance, my sugar level was around 45 or so, which is low enough for me to feel the effects of it. I was of course craving anything sweet so I grabbed a chocolate granola bar and poured myself a glass of milk to go with it. As I was walking back to the table I somehow walked into the wall and spilled the milk all over the carpet and myself. The funny part was that I sat there eating my food drenched in milk, not really caring. I looked ridiculous. It’s great though, because I can always pull out the “low blood sugar” card and blame it on that.

Artificial Pancreas

A few weeks ago I found out that an artificial pancreas is in the works. Thanks to Johnson & Johnson and the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, it could be on the market in about four years. At first I was a little skeptical because it sounded a little like it would end up being similar to the pump (which I was not a fan of after wearing it for one day). After reading more about it, I realized it would be much better.

Apparently, this thing would actually calculate insulin doses for me based on how many carbs I'm eating. That is amazing considering I'm often times lazy when it comes to carb counting. I'm terribly guilty of guessing how much insulin I need instead of calculating the right amount. The thing is, not every piece of food has the carb amount on the packaging, especially if you're at a restaurant. The device would also constantly track my blood sugar levels, which is also amazing--pricking my fingers can get very annoying. The worst is when I accidentally get blood on my shirt because I don't realize my finger is still bleeding.

I'm very excited about this new device and look forward to trying it out when it becomes available.

Finally Married

As of Oct. 2, I officially became a married woman! I was a wreck the day of! However, I thankfully did not break out into hives like I thought I would. It was such a wonderful day despite the panic attacks and nervousness. The weather held out and we were able to have a beautiful ceremony outside in the gardens with “Somewhere over the Rainbow” by David Grisman playing as my bridesmaids walked down the aisle (I was really excited about that song). I was so happy that I didn’t have any lows at all during the entire day, despite the fact that I didn’t eat anything all day (I might have had a potato and bread at dinner.) Injecting insulin into my leg wasn’t a big deal and I was able to enjoy my reception without feeling nervous that I’d have to leave in the middle of the cake cutting to check my sugar, etc. Overall, I didn’t feel like the day went too fast or that I missed anything—I was able to greet everyone and dance as much as I wanted. Good times!

That Sunday we flew to Jamaica to enjoy some much needed relaxation. My sugar levels were good almost the entire trip, minus one incident after lunch when I ate way too much dessert. Oh well. The dolphin excursion was so much fun and worth every penny! It was a great time.